Saturday, June 13, 2015

Pony or penis?

I thought long and hard (npi) about whether or not to sully and stain my beautiful blog with the image of this pony-pulling prat of a PM, and decided that in the interests of the nation, which is naturally hanging on my every word, I would.

This is because I have a theory about "ponytail-gate" that I'd like to share with our great nation of people, most of whom seem ever so slightly confused about what sort of person makes a good leader, or even a good person.

"Ponytail-gate" refers to the recent asinine antics of the right-wing, pawn of the rich PM of NZ who, in his spare time, when out with his wife and bodyguards, likes to tug on the ponytail of the waitress who serves him, not once, but many many times over the course of months, despite the young owner of the ponytail asking, then telling him, please don't! He's a class act our PM. Clearly the best man for the top job.

But my theory about the whole silly sordid affair is that the man's a repressed homosexual, either wanting to prove he's not or confusing the ponytail with a penis in wanting to give it a good - rather, many a good - tug.

This is not to denigrate homosexuality, of course, but to highlight the fact that our so-called Mr Nice Guy PM is a two-faced pony-penis-pulling phoney who needs to be outed, whatever he's hiding. If it is homosexuality, that will be his most dignified skeleton you can be sure.

His wife was with him on his pony-pulling outings, for fuck sake! She even told him to stop, several times, and still he continued. O to be his wife! And between tugs, this first-class phoney presides over the steady demolition of the best welfare state in the world, with cuts in arts funding, state eduction, student allowances, public broadcasting and taxes for the rich. Brilliant! Talk about the second coming.

Where have you been all my life, John! I think it might be time to grow my hair.



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