Saturday, November 28, 2015

Probable dementia

These words, 'probable dementia', are probably not what you want to read when investigating (online) the side-effects of the drug you are considering taking, as I was doing this morning after an overnight situation of the medical variety arose and the residual medication left from the same situation arising three years ago (I keep all my old drugs, because, well, don't you?) suggested itself as a quick - cheap - fix, the day being Saturday and the cost of emergency medical treatment being holy-shit high. Never mind that the box officially expired in July this year. Boxes can be wrong. Drugs is drugs.

But 'probable dementia' is probable, which is one notch down from certain dementia, isn't it? I think it is. And probable dementia is just one of the side-effects listed. Various cancers, weight gain, water retention, depression, are among the long list of 'possible' side effects of this darling drug, which, admittedly, is a long way from probable, but still. Possible is possible.

All this begs two, rather pressing and depressing questions: 1) Why didn't my doctor mention 'probable dementia' when she first prescribed this drug for me in 2009, and 2) Am I demented?

Apparently if you are demented it is difficult to know, which makes things a bit tricky. And I'm not sure my husband can help on this one either; husbands aren't the most reliable diagnosticians when it comes to the matter of their wife's mental health. Perhaps I should ask my teenagers instead. So many options!

I should probably not joke about dementia. And if I did have it, I probably wouldn't be joking about it. So, then, I think I've got my answer: don't trust old drugs or on-line doctors; it's the first sign of dementia.



   

 

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Confessions of a strange estranged Australian

This title and image are two of the many and varied subtitles and cover images rejected by my publishers for my childhood memoir due out next year.

Never mind. The photo chosen for the cover is better than this one and I am still dressed as an animal, so you don't need to worry about missing out on that little treat.

But the subtitle remains undecided, though we're just about to go to final print from whence there is no turning back. Apparently my publishers would rather have no subtitle than this one, which speaks strongly of their extreme dislike, as it was their idea to have a subtitle in the first place.

I can't understand it, after all I am a strange estranged Australian, as you, my loyal and devoted blogees, will be all too aware.

You may not know, however, that I was once a dancing brown beetle - with annoyingly white shoe elastic.


Monday, November 23, 2015

Slam bam, thankyou ma'am


I'm a poet - if not a very good one - and I do know it (unfortunately). Fortunately, others have more talent in this field than I.







Mohamed Hassan, pictured here on the cover of the latest North Shore Times, who emanates from none other than our next-door suburb, Milford - though originally from Cairo - is one such talent, having just won the National Poetry Slam competition

This, I fear, is something I am much too gutless to enter, though to be fair, I didn't quite know it existed until this article appeared - even more shame on me.

But never mind, it's nobody's loss except mine. Ha! A little bit more poetry for you there, even if rhyming is not poetry necessarily and the best modern poets avoid it at all costs, which I suspect includes Mohamed here, whose winning poem was about refugees, of which I believe he was/is one.

Friday, November 20, 2015

Poise

'Poise' 1992
(from a NZ photo, circa 1901).


On the precipice of play

poise has much to say -

without noise.


Boys know not

its calm cool collect,

its gentle tough caress,

its secret strength to guess.


On the precipice of play

poise has much to say.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Flowers over fists

Fists beget fists, flowers beget flowers -  
  

I've blogged on this theme before. Sadly, the world has given us yet another painful and poignant reminder of its truth, as the flowers of soft sorrow and sweet sympathy, of brotherhood and sisterhood united in worship of the only shrine worthy of the name and the time taken - beauty, in its broadest sense - are gathered and gifted here in stark contrast to the shabby and scared, the abject and ugly images that the immediate aftermath of the Paris attacks delivered into our homes and hearts.

How many reminders do we need?


Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Sunset study

A room with a view (if now sans one grande dame tree)


Silver study lining,
frilly faraway shining -
it's all about timing.

Catch it quick,
wait for the click.

Contract the zoom,
tightening the womb.

Twenty times stronger,
like living longer,
to see so far
from one's own room.

Monday, November 16, 2015

On prostitution and obscenity

With this month's cover article of Time I planned to write a post on gender politics and its enduring relevance, challenging the closing of various gender studies programmes at universities in this country as in others.

In fact I find upon closer inspection that these closings in recent years have, most recently, say in the last year or two, begun to reopen, with many 'women's studies' programmes that have for decades been ghettoised and poorly attended, drawing almost exclusively female students, being recast as 'gender studies' programmes. Although this is likely only a change in name - 'women's studies' has always been the study of gender - this is a potential sign of progress, though the subject remains ghettoised rather than integrated into the undergraduate course lists of all sociology, history and politics programmes.

So, for example, my former department, the Political Studies department of the University of Auckland, for 2016 will provide only one gender-related (not exclusively gender politics) undergraduate course, but three on the politics of China, two on the Middle East and two on the countries of the European Union. Surely gender politics is at least as large a subject as the the politics of one of these foreign countries and regions?

If this Time cover and article is anything to go by, the future of Iran, a key player in the middle east, might be measured by its evolving attitude to women's freedom of dress and movement - currently very strict, requiring a full hijab covering everything but face and hands. Indeed how free women are in any society by law and custom is a fairly close reflection of how arrogant and threatening a country's male-dominated domestic and international political practice will be.

Still, all countries (even NZ, even Sweden), remain male dominated politically speaking, if not altogether, and this enduring bias feeds into the most extreme political movements - such as ISIS - which are, in turn, the most male-dominated and macho political forces. This is no coincidence. The values of ISIS are the values of extreme masculinity embracing the notion of male superiority before they are of anything else. All religions are patriarchal and all condemn 'prostitution and obscenity' (sex and seduction beyond marriage and the home), one of the reasons given by ISIS for its attack on Paris.

In my opinion, if these killers knew the seduction and love of a good woman (or man) within a relationship that is equal, namely with equal respect between the partners and no hierarchy of status, then they would not resent prostitutes and their customers as they do, nor would they be so ready to kill and lose their lives to honour some puritanical prophet who lived thousands of years ago.

While instead men - everywhere - are taught to believe they are better than women and to serve an all-knowing male god, they cannot know what true love and respect is. And without that prospect, much hope of happiness is lost and homicide and suicide become that much more imaginable.

Look at all killers beyond organised war, but not beyond the home, and you will find men, every last one of them, who resent, disrespect and hate women. They were not born this way and nothing could be less natural than the hatred of the opposite sex. We teach men to think thus. Universities, where we are formerly taught how to think critically of the world we live in, should be the place where we unlearn this dangerous and destructive prejudice. Instead, all to often, these male-dominated institutions reinforce this prejudice directly and indirectly by focusing on macho subjects, like war and economics, and now terrorism, without studying the problematic masculinity that is at the basis of much of the conflict within and between nations.

What could be more obscene than a machine-gun turned on innocent people?