Saturday, November 28, 2015

Probable dementia

These words, 'probable dementia', are probably not what you want to read when investigating (online) the side-effects of the drug you are considering taking, as I was doing this morning after an overnight situation of the medical variety arose and the residual medication left from the same situation arising three years ago (I keep all my old drugs, because, well, don't you?) suggested itself as a quick - cheap - fix, the day being Saturday and the cost of emergency medical treatment being holy-shit high. Never mind that the box officially expired in July this year. Boxes can be wrong. Drugs is drugs.

But 'probable dementia' is probable, which is one notch down from certain dementia, isn't it? I think it is. And probable dementia is just one of the side-effects listed. Various cancers, weight gain, water retention, depression, are among the long list of 'possible' side effects of this darling drug, which, admittedly, is a long way from probable, but still. Possible is possible.

All this begs two, rather pressing and depressing questions: 1) Why didn't my doctor mention 'probable dementia' when she first prescribed this drug for me in 2009, and 2) Am I demented?

Apparently if you are demented it is difficult to know, which makes things a bit tricky. And I'm not sure my husband can help on this one either; husbands aren't the most reliable diagnosticians when it comes to the matter of their wife's mental health. Perhaps I should ask my teenagers instead. So many options!

I should probably not joke about dementia. And if I did have it, I probably wouldn't be joking about it. So, then, I think I've got my answer: don't trust old drugs or on-line doctors; it's the first sign of dementia.



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