24 years ago today

Face to face for the first time.
Photo taken by the midwife.

It was twenty-four years ago today

Following thirty-five hours of pain

That the doctors said at least you tried

But baby's had enough, baby's tired

And giving me a form to sign

To waive responsibility if I died

A needle took the pain away

As the midwife took out the razor blade

Which was guaranteed to raise a smile

When she shaved off a mole and cried:

'You didn't tell me you had a mole, child!'

And I said: 'I forgot, I've got a lot on my mind'

But what's a bit of blood between wives

In the best cause of furthering lives

And the mole was forgotten in a flash

When to the surgery we did together dash

For the show to end all shows to begin

Applying the weapons of mass reproduction

Under bright lights with a tug and a cry

He did emerge finally, he did arrive

And they said I'd like to introduce to you

Your firstborn babe, he's bloody but brand new

And it certainly was a big thrill

Though I was shivering all over with a sudden chill

Then a week later, it didn't take too long

They said: you can take him home, go on, go on

And so we did twenty-four years ago

And today he still lives at home

Which is fine

We're all good with that

When we go away he looks after the cat

Happy birthday, Conor James, there's no pleasure without labour pains.